School Daze
by Rupert Brown
Summary: Lizzie encounters her first day of High School; Matt has the run of Middle School. Written in Screenplay Format. Fictional "Third Season".
1. Cold Opening

COLD OPENING

FADE IN:

INT. DIGITAL BEAN—DAY

ANGLE ON: GORDO and LIZZIE sitting at a table together. Their fingers are intertwined. They're sharing one soda with two straws. They're looking into each other's eyes — It's obvious to anyone that they're a couple.

Enter MIRANDA, who has just returned from a summer vacation spent with her parents in Mexico. She sees her friends and waves to them, starting to come over. Nearly there she stops stock still — having absorbed the current tableau. She looks from the clasped hands to the soda to them and back. Gordo and Lizzie look at her anxiously. Miranda's stunned.

MIRANDA  
(to Lizzie)  
You and Gordo? H H?

Lizzie smiles shyly and nods.

MIRANDA  
That's… That's… That's great!

Lizzie and Gordo look relieved as Miranda takes a seat.

MIRANDA  
What took you so long?

LIZZIE  
(confused)  
What do you mean?

MIRANDA  
I mean it's obvious you two liked each other.

GORDO  
(flustered)  
What are you talking about?

MIRANDA  
I'm talking about how you two have been attracted to each other.

LIZZIE  
(confused)  
But – How – When –

MIRANDA  
Since before last year. Remember when Gordo was dating Brooke Baker?

**CLIP: GORDO AND THE GIRL –Lizzie wondering if she likes Gordo.**

**BACK TO SCENE**

MIRANDA  
(to Gordo)  
And then there was you.

GORDO  
Me?

MIRANDA  
Remember when Lizzie was going out with that Ronny kid?

CLIP: FIRST KISS INT. MIDDLE SCHOOL – HALLWAY – A MOMENT LATER 

**Miranda and Gordo enter the school building.**

**MIRANDA  
****Do you believe her? It's like listening to one of those hygiene films they show in health class.**

**GORDO  
****I guess she really likes him.**

**MIRANDA  
****Likes him? She's possessed! She's wearing his dirty shoelaces!**

**GORDO  
****Well, what do you think it is about him? You think he's a jock? I bet he's a jock.**

**MIRANDA  
****What—now you're going to talk about him incessantly too?**

**GORDO  
****No, it's just—so strange. I mean, other than my parents, Lizzie's the one person I've known all my life. I guess I never really thought what it would feel like when she had a boyfriend.**

**MIRANDA  
****Wait a minute, whoa. Are you jealous?**

**GORDO  
****Jealous? No. Wrong road. I was trying to identify a completely different emotion. Definitely not jealous.**

**Miranda, satisfied, heads for the cafeteria.**

**GORDO  
****I think.**

**BACK TO SCENE**

Gordo looks chagrinned.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
Why didn't someone tell me we were in love?

LIZZIE  
You could have let us know!

MIRANDA  
What? That you and Gordo were sweet on each other? Puh-lease! You wouldn't even admit it to yourselves, what could I have said to convince you?

LIZZIE  
(disgruntled)  
Still, you could have hinted or something.

GORDO  
Well, what's done is done. The bottom line is that we have realized our feelings for each other.  
(beat)  
Right?

LIZZIE  
Absolutely.  
(to Miranda)  
So, how was Mexico?

MIRANDA  
It was awesome. We visited all sorts of relatives, checked out the step pyramids at Teotilhuacan , and we even went scuba diving!

GORDO  
Sounds cool.

MIRANDA  
It was. Extremely. But tell me about your guys' summer. From what I've heard it was a real experience.

LIZZIE  
Yeah, you could say that…

QUICK CLIPS: THE LIZZIE MCGUIRE MOVIE BACK TO SCENE 

As they all fill each other in we see MATT entering the establishment with MELINA and LANNY in tow.

RESET TO:

INT. DIGITAL BEAN – ANOTHER AREA – CONTINUOUS

The three kids sit at a table with smiles on their faces.

MATT  
This is so cool! We're in Middle School now.

Lanny makes known his agreement.

MELINA  
And you've got an 'in', right?

MATT  
Are you kidding me?

**CLIP: LIZZIE'S NIGHTMARE – Principal Tweedy gushing over Matt.**

**BACK TO SCENE**

MATT  
We'll own the place.

Matt kicks back and props his feet on the table as they all smile at the idea of having free reign.

CUT TO:

INT. DIGITAL BEAN – ANOTHER AREA

We come back just as Lizzie and Miranda finish telling each other about their summer.

MIRANDA  
Woah. All that and you still had time to hook up with Gordo?

She shakes her head in amazement.

LIZZIE  
And now we're all High Schoolers.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
Wahoo! High School! Wahoo!

MIRANDA  
This year is so going to rock!

GORDO  
I second that.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
And I third it!

FADE OUT:

END OF COLD OPENING


	2. Act I

ACT ONE

FADE IN:

INT. MCGUIRE HOME – KITCHEN – NEXT DAY

JO and SAM are having their morning coffee. Matt and Lizzie haven't come down yet.

JO  
(wistful)  
I can't believe our little girl is already in High School!

SAM  
Tell me about it. It seems like only yesterday that she was skinning her knees learning how to walk.

JO  
I know. And learning her first word.

SAM  
(brightening up)  
"Da-Da".

JO  
(grumpily)  
Yeah.  
(beat)  
Anyway, where has all the time gone? Pretty soon she'll be off to college and we'll be left all alone.

SAM  
With Matt.  
(beat)  
I'll board up her room.

JO  
I'll change the locks.

They rush off.

CUT TO:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL – HALLWAY – LATER

Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda all stand together looking out at the masses. They are about to embark upon a new phase of their lives.

LIZZIE  
(barely containing her excitement)  
Here we are!

GORDO  
(more prosaic)  
Here we are.

MIRANDA  
Come on Gordo, you could at least try to act excited!

GORDO  
You forget, I've been here before. It's old hat to me.

MIRANDA  
Old hat?

GORDO  
Yeah, you know, "been there, done that?"

LIZZIE  
(laughing)  
Come on, let's go.

She pulls them both out into the hallway. As they walk to their lockers they see all the 'strata' of the High School social system.

The Nerds (we see TUDGEMAN talking with them, he waves to our gang who wave back).

The Jocks (we see ETHAN talking with them, he waves to our gang who wave back).

The Artsy types.

The Bad Crowd.

The Popular Kids. Here we see KATE, who hesitantly/shyly smiles over at Lizzie. Miranda, seeing this, turns to Lizzie.

MIRANDA  
(to Lizzie)  
What was that?

LIZZIE  
What was what?

MIRANDA  
That! Since when does Kate acknowledge our existence?

LIZZIE  
It's… Complicated.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
(bemused)  
Yeah, that's one way to put it.

LIZZIE  
Come on, let's get to class. Wouldn't do to be late on the first day.

GORDO  
Right.

Our gang grab their books and head off to class.

CUT TO:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL – CLASSROOM

The class is all seated, waiting for their teacher to arrive – which he does. Who should come through the door but MR. DIG.

LIZZIE  
(surprised)  
Mr. Dig! What are you doing here?

MR. DIG  
Your regular teacher's out for the week – ringworm.

GORDO  
Ugh.

MR. DIG  
Indeed Mr. Gordon.  
(beat)  
Well then, let's get down to the fascinating world of High School Geography!

CUT TO:

INT. MIDDLE SCHOOL – HALLWAY – DAY

Matt, Melina, and Lanny scope out the place like they own it. Matt raises his arms in the air.

MATT  
(in stentorian voice)  
Hear me my people! Pay homage to your new king!

MELINA  
Subtle.

Lanny points to their lockers.

MATT  
(still in character)  
Ah, yes Lanny, let us sally forth to our lockers! Ha-ha!

Melina roles her eyes as she follows behind.

INT. MIDDLE SCHOOL – HALLWAY - ANOTHER AREA – CONTINUOUS

Matt struggles with his locker, he can't get it open.

MATT  
This thing won't open…

MELINA  
Let me 'your highness'.

Melina deftly opens the locker.

MATT  
(back in character)  
Thank you young damsel. Thou shalt be rewarded.

At this point the school bell rings.

MELINA  
Come on 'your grace', let's get to class.

MATT  
(in character)  
Onward to destiny!

CUT TO:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL – HALLWAY – DAY

Our trio has just gotten out of their first class.

MIRANDA  
Whew! Who knew High School was so much work!

LIZZIE  
Tell me about it! It's the first day of school and we already have homework!

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
Shouldn't there be some sort of summer vacation amnesty period?

GORDO  
We are in High School now. Things are going to be tougher.

MIRANDA  
You could at least be sympathetic!

GORDO  
Sorry.

LIZZIE  
Well, if that was any indication, today is going to be a long day.

MIRANDA  
You can say that again.

CUT TO:

A SHORT MUSICAL MONTAGE:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL – MATH CLASS – DAY

The teacher is up at the chalkboard writing out a complex algebraic equation. Miranda is wearing a stupefied/mystified look on her face.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL – ENGLISH CLASS – DAY

The teacher is talking to the class while pointing to the chalkboard. She's discussing all sorts of arcane English 'rules'. Prepositions, hanging participles, conjugal verbs, etc. Lizzie franticly writes the stuff down in her notebook as she looks from the teacher to the book with a frantic/lost look on her face.

INT. HIGH SCHOOL – AUTO CLASS – DAY

Gordo is dwarfed by a large group of 'grease monkeys' looking down at an engine block as the teacher points to various parts. Gordo wears a look of intense concentration mixed with a bit of incongruity.

ANGLE ON: A wall clock, the hands swirl around to indicate the passage of time.

End of Montage

CUT TO:

EXT. HIGH SCHOOL – DAY

Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda have just gotten out for lunch break. They're frazzled.

MIRANDA  
I'm glad that's over with.

GORDO  
It's only lunch. There's still half a day to go.

LIZZIE/MIRANDA  
Not helping Gordo.

MIRANDA  
Anyway, at least we can have lunch in peace.

Enter two GIRLS walking up to Lizzie hesitantly.

GIRL #1  
Aren't you Lizzie McGuire?

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
Unless someone stole my underwear, yup.

LIZZIE  
(slightly confused)  
Uh, huh.

GIRL #2  
And weren't you at the International Music Video Awards?

LIZZIE  
(brightening)  
Yeah, that's me.

GIRL #1  
Can we have your autograph?

LIZZIE  
(wonderingly)  
Uh, sure.

From off camera someone shouts Lizzie's name. Soon our trio are mobbed by autograph seekers.

GORDO  
(to Miranda)  
You were saying?

CUT TO:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL – HALLWAY – DAY

Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda are walking to their next class when Lizzie is approached by GEORGETTE SKYLER, an older girl and Captain of the Cheerleading Squad.

GEORGETTE  
Lizzie, right?

LIZZIE  
Yeah…

GEORGETTE  
Well, some of us kids are having a party Thursday. And I, we, thought you'd like, might be interested.

LIZZIE  
Um, thanks.

GEORGETTE  
(glancing at Gordo and Miranda)  
Oh, and you too.

GORDO  
Thanks.

GEORGETTE  
(uncomfortably)  
So, um, I guess that's it. Hope to see you there.

Georgette leaves.

LIZZIE  
What was that?

MIRANDA  
(ecstatic)  
'That' was cool!  
(to Lizzie)  
Autograph seekers. The captain of the cheerleading team inviting you to parties. Lizzie, it's official. You are popular.

GORDO  
More than popular. She's famous.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
Me? Famous?

A hand fan suddenly materializes and she begins to flutter it along with her lashes.

ANIMATED LIZZIE (CONT.)  
Well, I do declare.

LIZZIE  
(concerned)  
But I'm not sure I want to be famous.

LIZZIE (CONT.)  
Remember when I got that modeling contract?

**CLIP: LAST YEAR'S MODEL – Gordo, Miranda and others fawning over Lizzie instead of treating her like a friend.**

**BACK TO SCENE**

LIZZIE  
And the time I dated Frankie Muniz?

**CLIP: LIZZIE IN THE MIDDLE – Gordo and Miranda forswearing to hangout with Lizzie as long as she is dating Frankie.**

**BACK TO SCENE**

GORDO  
I don't think you have a choice now. You're already out there.

Lizzie looks on worryingly.

CUT TO:

INT. MIDDLE SCHOOL – CLASSROOM – DAY

Matt is engaged in cutting up the students in class while the teacher's back is turned as she's writing on the chalkboard. He is the center of attention and all eyes are riveted on him.

TEACHER  
(O.S.)  
Now who can tell me the answer to this problem?

Matt continues to entertain, oblivious.

The teacher comes into frame.

TEACHER  
Perhaps you Mr. McGuire?

Matt, caught unawares, gulps, chagrined. The other students suddenly snap back to attention.

MATT  
Uh, excuse me?

TEACHER  
I said, perhaps you can show the class the answer to the problem on the board.

MATT  
(wilting)  
Um, uh, okay?

Matt makes the long march to the front of the class to the chalkboard. On it is a complex fraction problem. He looks at it, having not the least little notion as to how to solve it. Hesitantly, he takes a wild stab at it and takes up the chalk and writes the number '1'.

TEACHER  
(impressed)  
That's right. One is the answer. Very good Mr. McGuire, you may be seated.

Matt makes his way to his desk, cockier than ever now, as his teacher looks on admiringly.

CUT TO:

INT. MIDDLE SCHOOL – HALLWAY – DAY

Matt, Melina, and Lanny are walking down the hallway.

MELINA  
(to Matt)  
You were so lucky in math class.

MATT  
(mock offended)  
Luck? My dear Melina, that was skill!

MELINA  
Uh, huh.

Lanny grabs for Matt's attention, gesturing towards a soft drink vending machine.

MATT  
Good idea Lanny. We could all use a soda. I'm buying!

MELINA  
Big spender.

But by the time they get over to it PRINCIPAL TWEEDY is already standing in front of it, peeved. It just took his change without giving anything back.

PRINCIPAL TWEEDY  
(miffed)  
Argh! And that was my last quarter too!

Matt, sensing an opportunity to further ingrain himself with the faculty, clears his throat.

MATT  
Allow me.

Principal Tweedy steps aside as Matt steps up to the machine. He makes a show of cracking his knuckles, loosing up his neck, etc, as though he's preparing for an extreme effort. Melina roles her eyes. Finally ready, Matt unleashes a 'kung-fu yell' as he gives the machine a karate chop. A soda pops forth, much to Principal Tweedy's pleasure.

PRINCIPAL TWEEDY  
(pleased)  
Mr. McGuire, it's a real pleasure to have you in this school full time. I see great things in your future.

Principal Tweedy leaves whistling.

MATT  
Hail to the king baby.

CUT TO:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL – GYM – DAY

Our trio are in gym class doing their stretching exercises.

LIZZIE  
-I mean, sure I feel different. But not 'diva' different.

MIRANDA  
Different how?

LIZZIE  
I feel more confident. More sure of myself.

GORDO  
You're growing as a person Lizzie. It's a sign of maturity.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
Maturity? I still sleep with Mr. Snuggles!

Animated Lizzie holds her stuffed pig, Mr. Snuggles, close to her chest while sucking her thumb.

MIRANDA  
And besides, don't you like having found your talent?

GORDO  
Yeah. You were always telling us how you felt 'left behind'.

**CLIP: OVER THE HILL – Lizzie complains to Gordo and Miranda about how she doesn't have a special talent.**

**BACK TO SCENE**

LIZZIE  
That's true…

MIRANDA  
Of course it is. Besides, think of all the perks!

LIZZIE  
(indulgently)  
Such as?

MIRANDA  
Moolah. The Green. Dinaro. Money.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
Now that is a perk.

Lizzie laughs.

GORDO  
The bottom line Lizzie is that you've found something you're good at. And a side effect of that is fame.

MIRANDA  
(greedily)  
And fortune. Don't forget fortune!

GORDO  
Yeah. That too.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
French fries for life. Heck, I could buy France itself!

LIZZIE  
I know, but—

Lizzie is interrupted as the P.E. teacher calls out to get ready for an activity.

GORDO  
See? No matter how big you get you've still got to run laps like the rest of us.

LIZZIE  
(teasingly)  
I could always hire someone to run for me you know.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
Hey, I'm starting to get the hang of this fame thing already!

CUT TO:

END OF ACT ONE


	3. Act II

ACT TWO

FADE IN:

INT. MIDDLE SCHOOL – CAFETERIA KITCHEN – DAY

Matt, Melina and Lanny are standing outside the Cafeteria kitchen.

MATT  
(to Melina)  
Tell me again why we're doing this?

MELINA  
Watch and learn.

Presently the CAFETERIA LADY comes to get ready to serve lunch.

CAFETERIA LADY  
What are you doing here?

MELINA  
We want to help you serve lunch.

CAFETERIA LADY  
(suspiciously)  
Why?

MELINA  
(bluntly)  
Pity. I mean, look at this slop.  
(beat)  
Do you really want to be around it any longer than you have to?

CAFETERIA LADY  
Good point. Grab some aprons and let's go.

CUT TO:

A SHORT MONTAGE TO "BEAT IT" BY MICHAEL JACKSON:

INT. CAFETERIA – DAY

Students shuffle in line making disgusted faces at the green gooey glop Melina is happily spooning onto their trays.

INT. CAFETERIA – DAY

Matt places brownies on the trays of the kids in the line. He looks fugitively around and smiling, pockets one before resuming his task.

INT. CAFETERIA - DAY

Lanny artfully places the vegetables on the kids' trays, taking great care and pride in how he arranges each one.

INT. CAFETERIA – DAY

Cafeteria Lady looks upon her three industrious helpers admiringly.

End of Montage

INT. CAFETERIA – DAY

Melina, Matt, Lanny and the Cafeteria Lady are all gathered around putting away the utensils.

MELINA  
(making a good show of it)  
Well, I guess we get whatever's left for lunch?

CAFETERIA LADY  
(incredulously)  
What? This crud? No way. Here, let me get you some of the good stuff.

The Cafeteria Lady breaks out all sorts of edible delectables, light years better than what the general student body gets. As they munch down—

MELINA  
(to Matt)  
(de sotto voice)  
What did I tell you? Watch and learn, watch and learn…

CUT TO:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL – MUSIC HALL – DAY

The MUSIC TEACHER is addressing our gang's class.

MUSIC TEACHER  
Music is more than just sounds. It's life; it's the very soul of living. Music is the great harmonious matrix that surrounds us all.

At the mention of 'matrix' Tudgeman quotes from the well-known science fiction film of the same title.

TUDGEMAN  
(in character)  
The red pill or the blue pill? Choose Neo.

GORDO  
Not that Matrix Tudgeman.

MUSIC TEACHER  
Music is like the life giving waters of Mother Nature's majestic waterfalls.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
I like music as much as the next person, but I don't want to go swimming in it.

MUSIC TEACHER  
Music must flow from one's own inner self. It must run wide and free like the great Caribou.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
If this keeps up much longer the Caribou won't be the only things running.

MUSIC TEACHER  
I want you to partner up with the person next to you. We'll be conducting an exercise.

Lizzie and Miranda turn to each other. Leaving Gordo with Tudgeman.

TUDGEMAN  
Hey partner.

MUSIC TEACHER  
The point of this exercise is harmony. Specifically, to learn to harmonize your voice with someone else's. I'll sing a bar and I want you to try and duplicate it. Watch how your partner forms their mouth; take note of their breath control. Do they take air in through their mouth or their nose? These are the things we'll be working on. Now—

The Music Teacher bleats on a pitch pipe then sings his bar.

MUSIC TEACHER  
Now you try.

As Lizzie and Miranda replicate the bar they look around confusedly as a calliope of sound issues from everybody else. It sounds more like a zoo than a concert choir.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
Who let the animals out of their cage?

A loud menagerie of various animals stampedes through noisily.

MUSIC TEACHER  
(in pain)  
Stop, stop! I see I have my work cut out for me…

He points to two students randomly – they happen to be Lizzie and Miranda.

MUSIC TEACHER  
You and you. Come up here.

Lizzie and Miranda come up to the front of the class.

MUSIC TEACHER  
(to Lizzie and Miranda)  
I want to hear you try and repeat the sound we just attempted.

MUSIC TEACHER (CONT.)  
Now class, I want to call to your attention those things I talked about before. After they sing, I'll point out what they did right – if anything – and what they did wrong.

He blows on his pitch pipe again.

MUSIC TEACHER  
(to Lizzie and Miranda)  
Proceed.

Lizzie and Miranda proceed to sing it note perfect. They smile in satisfaction at their accomplishment. The music teacher looks on agog.

MUSIC TEACHER  
(stunned)  
That… That was perfect!

Lizzie and Miranda beam happily.

MUSIC TEACHER  
Misses…  
He looks askance at the two girls.

MIRANDA  
Miranda Sanchez.

LIZZIE  
Lizzie McGuire.

MUSIC TEACHER  
Miss Sanchez and Miss McGuire have shown us how it's done. And admirably so.  
(beat)  
Everybody, you should all seek to imitate them. Good job girls.

They head back to their places.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
(self satisfied)  
He's right. Music is the great harmonious matrix that surrounds us all.

CUT TO:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL – HALLWAY – DAY

The kids are streaming out from Music Class.

LIZZIE  
(smiling)  
Now that wasn't so bad.

GORDO  
You didn't have to listen to Tudgeman try and sing all period.

He shakes his head to try and banish the 'pain'. The girls laugh. As they walk down the hallway enter PARKER MCKENZIE.

PARKER  
(eyes on Gordo)  
Oh, hey Gordo.

GORDO  
Hey Parker.

PARKER  
So, um, the first day is rough, huh?

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
(peeved)  
Uh, hello? There's more than one person here!

GORDO  
It's not too bad. Just different, that's all.

PARKER  
Yeah. I guess so.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
She guesses so? What's going on here?

LIZZIE  
(fed up with being ignored)  
Hi Parker.

PARKER  
Oh, hi Lizzie. You too Miranda.  
(to Gordo)  
So, uh, I guess I'll see you in Drama class.

GORDO  
I guess so.

Parker leaves. Miranda raises her eyebrows at the scene that just unfolded.

LIZZIE  
What was that all about?

GORDO  
(mystified)  
What?

LIZZIE  
Parker. What's she up to?

GORDO  
She was just making conversation I guess.

MIRANDA  
Uh, huh…

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
What's Parker doing sniffing around my boyfriend? Lizzie angry! Parker no like Lizzie when she's angry!

Animated Lizzie starts to grow muscle mass and turn green, ala the Incredible Hulk.

GORDO  
(oblivious)  
I'm sure it was nothing. Come on, we can't be late for Art.

CUT TO:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL – ART ROOM

The class is painting on easels. Lizzie and Miranda are close together; Gordo is slightly off to the side, out of hearing range.

LIZZIE  
(to Miranda)  
What was with Parker?

MIRANDA  
I don't know. You don't think…

LIZZIE  
(thinking on same wavelength)  
It couldn't be. After all, she turned him down last year, remember?

**CLIP: A GORDO STORY – Parker turns down Gordo's invitation to the dance.**

**BACK TO SCENE**

MIRANDA  
That's true. But she did come crawling back.

**CLIP: A GORDO STORY – Parker asks Gordo to dance.**

LIZZIE  
Not helping Miranda!

MIRANDA  
Sorry.

LIZZIE  
Ugh! Well, she had just better not make any moves.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
If she knows what's good for her!

MIRANDA  
(supportive)  
Don't worry, I got your back.

LIZZIE  
Thanks.

GORDO  
What are you guys talking about?

MIRANDA  
Just girl talk Gordo. Nothing you'd be interested in.

GORDO  
Probably not.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
He's so sweet. Clueless. But sweet.

MIRANDA  
(to Lizzie)  
Anyway, it's not like you have anything to worry about. Gordo isn't even interested in her.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
Miranda's right. Gordo's a one woman man.

LIZZIE  
You're right. I'm just being stupid.

MIRANDA  
That's okay. We're all that way when it comes to love.

They laugh.

CUT TO:

INT. MIDDLE SCHOOL – GYM – DAY

Matt is finishing up a little talk with the P.E. TEACHER. Melina and Lanny stand nearby.

P.E. TEACHER  
You know something? You're right. I'd never thought of it that way before. Dodge ball is just an academically sanctioned propagation of the 'law of the jungle' mentality – the very thing we as an enlightened society strive to overcome.  
(beat)  
I'll talk to the school board about abolishing it from the curriculum.

The P.E. Teacher wanders away musing.

MELINA  
(admiringly)  
Not bad.

MATT  
I got skills.

But a fellow student, PATRICIA FARNSWORTH, doesn't find the scene so charming. And she makes her opinion known.

PATRICIA  
(to Matt)  
I for one find it disgusting. The way you manipulate the teachers. You should be ashamed of yourself.

MELINA  
(disparagingly)  
Who are you sister?

PATRICIA  
(adjusts glasses)  
Patricia Farnsworth, thank you very much. And I do not approve of the actions you and your friends have taken.

Lanny 'communicates' with Matt.

MATT  
Lanny's right. We don't need your approval.

PATRICIA  
(outraged)  
Why, I never!

MELINA  
Well, maybe you should.

PATRICIA  
I am not going to take this sitting down. I will not see you turn this school into your own private fiefdom.

MATT  
'Fiefdom'?

MELINA  
And what do you plan to do about it?

PATRICIA  
I intend to alert the faculty to your ways. To prove to them what you really are.

MELINA  
(unconcerned)  
Which is?

PATRICIA  
A bunch of jackanapes!

MELINA  
(despairingly)  
'Jackanapes'?

PATRICIA  
You'll see. You can't wrap this school around your collective fingers. You're not above the rules.

She storms off in a huff.

MATT  
I don't think she likes us.

MELINA  
Astute observation.

Lanny 'communicates' to Melina.

MELINA  
You're right Lanny. I think she's going to be trouble too…

CUT TO:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL – SCHOOL STAGE – DAY

The Drama Class is all grouped together on stage as the teacher talks to them.

DRAMA TEACHER  
Welcome to Drama 101. The first thing you need to learn is that this class name is a misnomer. We teach acting and all aspects of the theater here. Not just 'drama'.

DRAMA TEACHER (CONT.)  
However, that being said, the first play we'll be studying is a drama.

He picks up a book from a stack of them on a table.

DRAMA TEACHER (CONT.)  
Shakespeare's classic "Antony and Cleopatra".

DRAMA TEACHER (CONT.)  
(reads from play)  
"O this false soul of Egypt! This grave charm—  
Whose eye becked forth my wars and called them home,  
Whose bosom was my crownet, my chief end—  
Like a right gypsy hath at fast and loose  
Beguiled me to the very heart of loss!"  
(beat)  
Who can tell me what that means?

No one knows, except Gordo.

GORDO  
He's saying that he did all those things for Egypt, fought its wars and came home, basically did what Egypt wanted and now it's led him to ruin, like an unfaithful woman.

DRAMA TEACHER  
(astonished)  
That's right. You… You understand Shakespeare?

GORDO  
Well, yeah.

DRAMA TEACHER  
(pleased)  
Finally! Someone who understands! Year after year and no one—  
(beat)  
Come up front here, we must do a scene. You'll be our Antony.

GORDO  
(hesitantly)  
I'm not an actor—

DRAMA TEACHER  
(interrupting)  
You understand the words! You could a tree, as long as you understand the words who cares!

He practically drags Gordo up front. He then looks around randomly.

DRAMA TEACHER (CONT.)  
(to Parker)  
You, with the eyes. You'll be our Cleopatra.

Parker hesitantly goes up front. The teacher hands them both a copy of the play.

DRAMA TEACHER (CONT.)  
We'll start at Act Four, Scene Fifteen. At this point Marc Antony is dying in the arms of his beloved Cleopatra.

He positions Gordo and Parker to lie down with Gordo laying in Parker's arms. Lizzie looks on uneasily.

DRAMA TEACHER  
(to Gordo)  
Start with, "The miserable change now at my end".

GORDO  
(reciting)  
"The miserable change now at my end  
Lament nor sorrow at; but please your thoughts  
In feeding them with those my former fortunes,  
Whein I lived the greatest prince 'o the world,  
… Now my spirit is going.  
I can no more."

DRAMA TEACHER  
Excellent, excellent.

He motions to Parker to say her lines.

PARKER  
(reciting)  
"Noblest of men, woo't die?  
Hast thou no care of me? Shall I abide  
In this dull world, which in they absence is  
No better than a sty? … The crown 'o earth doth melt."

DRAMA TEACHER  
Now you kiss him.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
What!

LIZZIE  
(panicky)  
Ki—kissing? Is that really necessary?

GORDO  
(to teacher)  
I don't know about—

DRAMA TEACHER  
(oblivious)  
Nonsense. It's all part of the play. Here she is, Cleopatra, watching the man she loves dying in her arms. She enfolds him in one final tender embrace before he shucks off this mortal coil. It's perhaps the climax of the play.

PARKER  
Yeah Gordo. Besides, it'd only be acting.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
Why don't you act a little less eager!

GORDO  
I'm not really comfortable with—

DRAMA TEACHER  
You'll do fine my boy. Trust me.

Gordo looks to Lizzie with a trapped look on his face. Lizzie looks unsettled/fearful. Just when it looks as though 'the end is neigh', the school bell rings—it's a fire drill.

DRAMA TEACHER  
Stay calm everyone, it's just a drill. File out of the room single order. Quietly please.

Lizzie and Gordo share a look of relief as they file out the door.

CUT TO:

INT. HIGH SCHOOL - HALLWAY – LATER

Our trio have just completed the fire drill.

GORDO  
(relieved)  
That was close. It's a good thing that fire drill took the rest of class. Talk about saved by the bell!

LIZZIE  
(distracted)  
Yeah…

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
Get a grip McGuire. You're Gordo's girlfriend now. Show him how mature and responsible you are.

LIZZIE  
(blurts out)  
You know, if you'd wanted to kiss Parker I understand.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
Ah, who am I kidding? In a pig's eye!

GORDO  
(flabbergasted)  
What?

LIZZIE  
I mean, I guess she's pretty and—

GORDO  
What are you talking about?

MIRANDA  
Yeah Lizzie. That's crazy talk. You and Gordo are a couple now, remember?

LIZZIE  
I know… But it's just that Parker seemed so eager, and Gordo did show an interest in her last year—

GORDO  
(serious)  
Lizzie. We've known each other all our lives. We've always known where we stood with one another. You know how I feel about you.

LIZZIE  
(softening)  
Yeah…

GORDO  
There's no other girl in the whole world that I'd rather be with. You're the one for me Lizzie McGuire.

Ethan, who's been standing nearby within earshot, breaks down.

ETHAN  
That's so beautiful!

He walks away crying.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
He's right. Waaaahh!

Lizzie and Gordo hold hands.

MIRANDA  
Now that that's settled, can we please go home?

LIZZIE  
(smiling)  
You bet.

ANIMATED LIZZIE  
Like Gordo said, we are in High School now, and things are going to be tougher. But it helps to know that no matter how tough it gets I have friends to support me. Look out High School, here comes Lizzie McGuire!

FADE OUT:

END OF SHOW


End file.
